It's my favourite time of the year! Mostly because of the any paos and good food :) I need to watch my diet before I turn into a fatty boom boom pregnancy fat is still haunting me #plsleavemealone

Anyway Happy Chinese New Year :) funny how I kept this blog to myself I guess it's my way of releasing stress rant as well as keep my memories fresh. Perhaps someday I will share it to everyone.

Ever since grandma pass away things are not the same and they will never be. CNY is different without her, her lovely fried glass noodles steam chicken braised pork fried prawns steam broccoli and mushroom will not be the usual food we will be having. I've been telling myself I need to recreate these dishes but never had a chance to do so, maybe when I have time I will start this project.

Anyway since I'm married now we got to share cny for 2 family which is not easy. I miss being home because going back is always so boring, literally do nothing for a few days.

To make things worst Miya has fallen ill for the very first time #bmrocks lol! She's having minor cough and flu hence she needs to be nebulise. Thank god I found this dr in Puchong which is open during weekends and holidays. He's not a very friendly person but he gets the job done which works fine for me.



My little one who is feeling better! I think every parents biggest fear is for their kids to fall sick. Nobody wants that but it's only normal for a child to fall sick and grow her immune system.



chor5 ❤️

Chor6 at uncle's place

one thing I miss most about cny is mahjong! Man I used to play till the morning and then continue for days and now I can't even touch them :(

不知不觉已经第二个月了。我还满enjoy 当妈妈, 慢慢的也开始习惯宝贝的sleeping pattern。可惜我的假期也快完毕, 真的不舍得把宝贝送去奶妈那儿可是还是要理智,工还是要打。

今晚老公对我说了一句 "老婆,你辛苦了。" 哇! 我真的好感动他会这样想。我付出的这一切决对是值得的! 加油老公 💪 我们一定可以熬过这一关!

To keep a relationship healthy I always believe in communication. Yes I was terribly cranky yesterday but I made my point and he understood.

It is not easy being a mother, now I know why. Sleep is never enough after your child is born, she wakes up every hour, the first week of holding your child in your hand and trying to cuddle her to bed makes me feel as if I've lost my limbs, yes it's that painful. Constant nagging for not staying in bed during confinements doesn't help either.

I had a long chat with my husband, explaining during the transition period I need a lot of help because it's not the same anymore.

He made an effort to come home early last night. Cooked dinner for me which was a good thought but he's not gonna get a chance to lay a foot in my kitchen again. He tried cooking kacangma chicken, a dish from sarawak which is good for confinement but he burnt the herbs, cook the chicken in a non stick pan without using flour so in the end I took over and help save the day :P

He also threw out the garbage and boiled water without me asking this round. #thankgod

Even gave me time to sleep at night. I slept at 10pm while he took care of Miya then woke up at 1am to DL her. 3 hours of sleep is just precious. I'm terribly grateful. Later on when she woke up he made her drink from the bottle which gave me time to pump my engorged breast.

Having help at home feels so good. I am really glad that he understands that for this to work he must participate. At one point he tried changing her diapers but I stopped him because she did a massive poop perhaps next round he can try changing a pee diaper it'll be easier.

Jia you my hubs 💪

Congratulations to myself, I can't believe that I've been a SAHM for 3 weeks already. This full time job requires 100% attention with no holidays or medical leave lol but I do enjoy spending time with Miya a lot, seeing her grow each day is the greatest gift, listening to her grunting sounds as she sleeps but with the housework piling up, I'm starting to lose it. Yes many say hire a part time, maybe I should, to keep my sanity but for the time being I've decided to be the ultimate bitch to make my point clear because I'm tired of asking.

It's easy to be a dad apparently, when the baby cries, just carry the baby, wakes mum up then go back to sleep. Easy peasy! He totally forgotten about the promises he made about us bringing up Miya
together.

Just 2 days ago, I fell ill again, plugged ducts are a bitch, he told me not to throw a tantrum but it hasn't cross his mind that it is because of him that's why I have a temper but not because I like throwing tantrum and sulk. Things needs to be done, well at least that's how I feel unfortunately he thinks differently. Why is it so hard to just fill up water and throw out the rubbish?

I asked him to wash the bottles for me, nope, he doesn't know, I guess I've majored myself in rocket science because no one thought me how to wash bottles, no one thought me how to bath a infant or change diapers or how to latch the baby, it just come naturally as you become a mother but this does not apply to a father. #godwhyyousounfair?

Today I decided to make a point, to make things easier, I've finish up all the water at home leaving no single drop so when he wakes up he will have to fill it up but I was proven wrong, when I walked in the room, he sat there, using this laptop browsing facebook, he did not notice there was not a single drop of water left, now I know he's so lazy he doesn't drink when there's no water. #seriouslyfml

Seriously why is it so hard to do simple house chores? It make sense to me, when you do it without me asking, I will not have to ask because when I ask more than once or twice or find myself repeating it gets on my nerves and he doesn't appreciate my sarcasm much but anyway you asked for it!

Simply makes me wonder why do I have to ask someone to do something simple daily, like hello! are you dumb? blind? Drum rolls here's my conclusion, it's how you were brought up. Thank you ma for having to nag at me all the time when I was young, thank you for teaching me now that I know, I understand why I got on your nerves so much.

So it's true when they say start good habits from young.

What is this postpartum depression? Well according to wikipedia it's depression that occurs after childbirth.



I was fine during my pregnancy, not much mood swings or anything, I made myself happy, going out with friends, pampering myself with massages, exercise, spend time with my cat and dog, exercise a little, cooked for myself daily, basically I was a happy chap, other than one or two events that my husband upset me.

So I thought nahhh I will never get baby blues, what are the odds that things like that will happen to someone like me? I am not a cry baby nor a attention seeker plus I have always been independent. I guess I underestimate hormones changes. #dontsayyouwontgetit!

It was stressful coming home with a baby with no help. Yeah my bad I was too confident that I will have time to take care of myself. First of all, I had no clue how to be a mother. Secondly I had to feed her every hour means there's no sleep for me and I was cranky because I have not adjusted myself to her schedule.

The 1st week was still bearable I had my mak bidan over to daily for my massage and she helped bathing baby M, mom prepared lunch and dinner for me all I had to do was heat it up but my house chores was piling up and I wanted to keep my house clean so I pushed myself a lil bit too hard, did housework and breastfeed a baby without sleep. Plus Ric was out most of the time because his business was picking up. The normal me would have been understanding, knowing that he's trying his best to make a living for me and our daughter but the me with PD was uh-oh I kept crying, I hated that he was away then he came up with a brilliant idea that made me cry for 2 days.

He decided to ask his mom to stay in and help out. Which was not our agreement before I deliver because we know it will not work. The night she came I wet my pillow. No offence but I did not like her company. She was a very  traditional woman, not to mention very loud as well, I am quite used to the silence I have and freedom I have.

Before giving birth we decided I do not have to follow any confinement rules ie no showering stay in bed no fan aircond etc. I had a way of my own and I am willing to tak the risk. have my own way of bringing up my child. I did not have herbs, ginger or alcohol in my diet because I will be breastfeeding. That was my decision and I am sticking to that. What i did instead I prepared red date tea, cod and salmon for my daily intake not forgetting fruits and veggies. I know this is not acceptable to most traditional women thinking that I'll spoil my body but whatever because they told me I shouldn't eat fish because my vagina will smell like it #dontmakesensetome like hello if you're bleeding 24/7 for 2 weeks trust me that smell ain't pleasent.

Anyway her first comment was I was walking too much, I was not allowed to touch water or carry heavy stuff, fyi I was throwing out the rubbish which will be less than 500g. Okay fine. I told myself to ignore. It was hard I could hardly put a smile on my face whenever I talk to her. It was a difficult time for me especially when they are into weird practices, she did not support breast feeding, or that's how she make me feel, kept asking me to give formula at least once a day which I rejected like a zillion times, yes breastfeeding is hard, I know that's why I am doing it because it benefits the baby to the max. Why give artificial milk when I have the real thing? #canneverunderstandsomepeople then Miya had jaundice, she wanted to feed her red date water, ya allah! why!!!! This is madness to me she was just a week old. Then she said something that made me terasa, she said to my daughter that I'm torturing her because I did not feed her water after breast feeding. Urghhh can someone please educate them?

As much as I hated the company I know she meant well and I too felt bad that I put my husband in that situation. I felt sorry for him but I had to make him do something cause I have reached a point whereby I am gonna say something unpleasant soon. Yes I kept telling myself stop being so sensitive she's just helping but I do not know why I couldn't control myself.

Meanwhile I was also depressed that I had no time for Mimi, my cat. She's been with me for 7 years now our bond is special. The day Miya came she stopped eating she didn't like the baby I guess. Then she'll be sitting at a corner looking at me. Just felt so bad I had no time for her for nearly 2 weeks. Had to hide her in the other room when visitors came and she didn't like company. Seeing her sad just made me cry everytime I see her.

Anyway it took me some courage. I had to tell Ric and my mum I had baby blues because I wanted it to go away. I hated myself for being sad hated how I cry for no reason it was just crazy. Thanks to Ric and my mum I walked out of it. Took awhile but I felt better.

In the end support is very important after pregnancy. You have no idea what the hormones will turn you into and I'm glad I came out of it after a week.

Our first mother and daughter selfie.
It's Miya's first week

Fun part of the week, she made flying poop lol I had a great laugh about this.
Got to brush up my skills, I'm still not clear how shit is suppose to look like.

The poop flew from the changing table to my bed sheets. Had to change my sheets after that 😱😱

Welcome my lil princess! Kok Miya 米雅
She's finally here!



Here's how content I am after my delivery.

It all started with light spotting on the 23rd June, clean my house one last round before I woke Ric up. I can remember how excited he was. Jumping up getting ready but I told him to chill there are no contractions just spotting.

Went to the hospital after lunch after the check up it seems like I have no signs of contractions and I'm only 2 to 3 cm dilated. I was given a choice to either check in or go home so I requested to go home and rest instead.

Things were fine until 4am in the morning, I started feeling it, like finally, now I know what contractions feels like lol vain but yeah I wanted to know. It was bearable so I waited until I find it painful woke Ric up and went to the hospital.

This time it was real. I am 6cm dilated! I was pushed into the delivery room. Nurses were getting ready. My doctor will be in by 7am. It was really painful by then I remember squeezing his hand other than that I just kept staring at the clock hoping 7am will come soon.

Doc came, thank god because I felt like she's coming out. All I could remember was them telling me to push they could see the baby's head already. You see the problem with me I didn't know how to push breath and push again. Geram it was painful I remember telling Ric I can't do it anymore lol so the doc motivated me by saying once the baby is out the pain will go away. So I took a deep breath and push and she was out 8am sharp!

Immediately they put her into my arms. No, I did not cry but I was amazed by how this little thing came from me. The journey was wonderful and I couldn't ask for more.

All I know she's my priority, my princess, and my latest addiction.

Today we got a chance to visit Rheineturm. This is the place to catch the view of Düsseldorf, the view was magnificent.

We went up chill for a short while then came down and had ice cream. My never ending love for ice cream 😋

The rest of the trip was spent on shopping.

Our next stop was Cologne.

Ricky has always been excited about Koln. He's always telling me stories of his trip there unfortunately I was terribly sick, I had a throat infection and unfortunately in Europe it was not easy to get medications like in Asia.They only gave me lozenges so it became worse and I started having fever :/ Well the lesson here is to prepare medications when we travel, I was too focus on my trip I totally forgotten about my medications.

The only place I manage to visit was the Cologne Cathedral. The view was just breathtaking.











After the visit to the church, I was hunting for food again and found, Merzenich Backereien.

The place is always busy, they serve really good pastries and the one paticular that really caught my attention was the mini croissants, still the best I ever had.

A newly open japanese cafe serving sweet and savory toast in Empire Damansara.

What's a honey toast?
It's a loaf of bread with its center removed and cut in squares, toast both parts in the oven and place the center pieces back in place. Add a generous scoop of ice cream and top with toppings of your choice ie fruits, whip cream, caramel/choclate syrup and the list goes on. Lastly drizzle with lots of honey!


Welcome to heaven! Feel free to choose the honey toast of your choice :)


Fruititon Honey Toast RM25.90
Topped with fruits lots of whip cream and a generous scoop of ice cream then you're given a bottle of honey and enjoy drizzling as much of honey as you like on top of your honey toast :)


Ham & Cheese Toast RM13.90
Classic ham & cheese toast with my all time favorite runny yolk right in the middle! Talk about surprises!


Ending the post with a selfie of a satisfy pair of bestie 💖

Haraju-Cube
103, Empire Damansara, Jalan PJU 8/8,
Damansara Perdana, Petaling Jaya.
Opening hours: Tues - Sun 11am - 11pm, closed on mondays

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